I can still feel that empty feeling of exasperation, like a man realizing a mirage in the dessert, when we got out of my car and approached my mother’s grave site. Befuddled we stood there for several minutes until my sister pulled out some notes and compared them to a cemetery land marker nearby. As we figured out the approximate area of where her grave was I kept thinking how wrong it was that we were there doing that. I couldn’t shake the feeling until I breathed a slight prayer for strength.

Then I muttered to my sister that we ought to head off to the store and pick out some more flowers. Normally she and I have fun when we go to the store together, but this time the mood was more somber.