How do you stop?

By On October 22, 2009 · 1 Comment · In Remarks

I can remember back in the 80′s when this song came out by James Brown.1 I liked it and added the 45 single to my collection.  I know it was put on at least one mixed music tape.

Yeah, I can remember singing those words and thinking about what they meant, but to a young Kayelless they really weren’t felt – until much later in life.  Interestingly funny how life goes.

I saw the news today and I’m looking at a bleak future coming much, much faster than I had calculated.  I’m not doing a very good job of putting this matter in The Lord’s hands and not stressing.  I have a job to do for Him and I’m worried that I’ve not done it well.  The consequences for my failure are devastating to my life.

Lord knows I’ve tried to do right.  Lord knows I’ve tried to get it together, but I have to admit I’m afraid I haven’t been successful.

The Bible tells us not to be afraid for our Spiritual Father is in charge and has only the plan of His grace for us.  Still we are told that doesn’t mean we won’t have to go through tough times.  Ha!  No kidding.

In truth it’s not the future that scares me as much as I’m ashamed and feeling bad of my past mistakes.  Once again, I’m faced with the loud voices from the adversary telling me all about what I haven’t done and what I’ve done wrong.

I keep hearing what a failure I’ve been.  I keep hearing about all the wasted time.  How I haven’t applied myself to find the success in God’s good graces.  I keep hearing about laziness and selfishness.  I keep hearing about not doing what it takes.  I feel I’ve let down my Spiritual Father and because of my failure my dreams for my life will be denied.

I don’t know how not to hate myself this morning.  I don’t know how not to feel as if I’ve already died and gone to hell.  I don’t know how to look towards that dream and believe I’m still worthy.

Right now all I know how to do is look at myself and believe without hesitation that I am what it takes.  I just don’t know how to bridge that gap between what I know that I am and where my life should be.

I am K

Reference
  1. Buy the album Gravity featuring the hit single “How Do You Stop?” at CD Universe↩

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One Response to How do you stop?

  1. Angela says:
    October 22, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Shared feelings here, but that can be the problem. We have to find the way to not let our feelings rule what our heart already knows-regardless of how much we believe we’ve failed, our Father God is sayin that we’ve only taken our first steps and that He’s here with us to help us along, if we would only let Him.
    We often times get in our own way, and that makes it easy for the enemy to throw lies at us, such as we are failures. God doesn’t see us as failures.He sees us as his children, whom He loves and wants the best for. That’s how we should see ourselves too.
    I’ve stopped refering to myself, in my self-talk, as a failure, even when my feelings say different. My feelings have limited sight for the future, and tend to dwell on the past. Keeping our eyes on the past keeps us from seeing our future so that we can head in that direction.

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